


Things I Didn't Say

by RosVailintin



Series: Manquer D'Amour N'Est Pas Un Crime [2]
Category: Say Something - A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera (Song), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Character Turned Into a Ghost, Death, Ghost Sebastian, Ghosts, M/M, Memories, Moriarty is Alive, POV Sebastian Moran, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, song title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 14:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7979491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosVailintin/pseuds/RosVailintin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the last moment, you couldn't hide any more; you showed your true self, right?<br/>The full moon was rising, casting icy glow over your body.<br/>It was too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things I Didn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> Right so I'm creating a new series called [_Manquer D'Amour N'Est Pas Un Crime_](http://archiveofourown.org/series/545362) and here's the second work of it...The first one is [_Rette Mich_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5920762) btw. And this is gonna be a bit creepy and is set after S4. And I'm in love with doing song parodies recently! I think I'm gonna write some for [HomeTown](wearehometown.com) songs soon. I just love the guys so much! Um right, here we go!

La lune se couche à mes côtés, peut-être l'as-tu rencontrée?

\- Vox Angeli·Durch Den Monsun

* * *

You just refuse to say it, don't you?

The final confession, the three little words, they've been haunting you for long enough, haven't they? You know it, you feel it every moment everyday, and how many times have you wanted to just shout it out?

But you hold the words back. They're on the tip of your tongue, almost slipping out of those sweet lips of yours every time a part of me touched them, but you are still holding them back, keeping them inside.

When I gazed into your eyes, I could see them change, softening and lighting up. I still can. For one moment, our eyes meet, though rather accidentally. I try to hold your gaze, but you hide away so quickly, a light, nervous blush rising to your cheeks. It hurt pretty bad at first, but gradually I'm used to it. And there are cases when you seem to sense that I'm there, and you carefully take one little look back, peeping up behind your long dark lashes, like you did the first time we met.

That was a long time ago, right? It was also a cloudy night with a full moon; I saw you standing by the street in that royal blue suit, still, and the whole scene was like a work of art. The moonlight lit up your silhouette, pale, delicate. I walked up quietly, not sure if you were alright. And however I attempted to be silent, you felt me, then all I knew was a revolver was aiming at my forehead. Your eyes were darker than the night, yet sharper than the bullet you were about to send out. They trapped me; I even forgot to get ready to defend. Then you broke it. You slowly withdrew the shiny pistol, not losing the eye contact. I remembered what I came for.

I parted my lips ready to ask before you blankly said, 'I'm fine, thank you.' My guess was right; you're Irish, probably from Dublin or Galway. You turned back towards the empty streets. I had no idea why you were there because there was absolutely nothing out there, but I didn't ask. There was something in you that made me shiver. I simply stood there watching you for some reason I had no idea of, a part of me waiting for you to coldly throw me a 'what do you want'. But well, I was wrong again. You stood there with me behind you for I'd say at least half an hour, no conversation, not even a single word from either of us.

A lightning tore the sky wide open, followed by a cracking thunder. Rain poured all over your body, but you weren't moving.

'You mind going somewhere dry?' I finally asked.

'You can go.' You said, almost emotionless. I said 'almost', though. Water was dripping from your hair, lashes and the tip of your nose, flowing down your chin; the suit was soon soaked, the blue colour darkened and strengthened. It was a midnight of October; that was not the right time to stand in the rain.

I didn't yet know you; we had just met and your attitude was pretty far from friendly. I could have just walked away and kept myself from getting wet. You aimed a gun at me when I just wanted to make a small talk; heaven knew what would happen next? There was no one around; people wouldn't even know if you had just pulled the trigger. Still, some kind of force inside me made me grab your arm and drag you off the road into my personal hideaway which was an abandoned pub.

Of course you rejected and struggled, and you were still whining when I dragged you inside the dusted place. But still, you seemed to be aware that fighting me was playing with fire, because you didn't go further than sending me annoyed glares.

Since the rain showed no sign of stopping, I spent one good hour to talk you into coming home with me.

'Anyway, you've got nowhere to go tonight, right?' The words slipped out of my lips before I even knew.

You froze for a blink's time, a shadow crossing your eyes. I felt a gut in my stomach, rising to my chest, settling down in my throat. I had known that you probably had no place to go even though you explained it as an experiment you were doing. You soon pushed the emotions away, staring up at me with the blank face, your lashes still sticking together, wet, making you look as if you had eyeliners on.

Eventually you gave in.

I took you home, warning myself not to risk anything.

You took off your soaked suit and tossed it on my bed, then the tie, the shirt, and the trousers. You walked straight into the bathroom shutting the door without even asking for my permission. I wondered how you were going to get out of the shower with no clean clothes. I searched through my closet to find the smallest tee and shorts before knocking on the door.

'Come in.' You said, still almost emotionless. And still, I said 'almost'. I never get how you just knew it was me, every time, but you just knew.

I hesitantly opened the door, knowing that I'd be seeing your naked body moving in the mist immediately. Placing the clothes beside the sink, I quickly slipped out and closed the door again.

I remember learning your name from the card in your pocket, which literally stroke me. I was almost killed by the most dangerous creature in the world, and by 'almost' I mean he let me survive.

There he was, stepping out of the bathroom, taking his time, in obviously oversized tee and shorts. His hair was still damp, his skin smooth and rosy with hot steam, and I knew he had used my vanilla shampoo and chocolate body wash.

I finally had a crush on a man.

You sensed my heated gaze. You took a brief look up at me behind your wet lashes, but soon turning away, a light blush rising from you neck to those flawless cheeks. I chuckled. You shot me one of those angry glances, and I have to say they were hella cute and teasing.

I refused to move my eyes away.

You cautiously took one little look back, and I saw nervousness. Just one instant, but there it was. I watched you pick up the clothes you threw on my bed and headed to the laundry room. I had no idea how the hell you knew where it was, since the mansion was anti-humanly complicated. I followed you up and down the stairs, and you simply let me.

I realised it was getting too hard to control.

The moment you turned around, I pressed your body hard against the washing machine, smashing our lips together. You yelped, moaned, groaned, screamed, but all these have done was pushing me close to the edge. You dug your nails into the back of my neck, and I could feel blood.

The night was a mess.

I woke up in the battlefield of last night, alone. There was no trace of you; the fragrance of your cologne was still there, but you were gone for at least four hours.

However, I was more worried than afraid.

I know how you feel deep inside, and I know your way of showing it. You never admit, though, and you blame your pride. There was one moment when you broke your walls down, and that was when the arrow pierced through my body. I saw you scream, cry, losing your mind and going all insane. At the last moment, you couldn't hide any more; you showed your true self, right?

The full moon was rising, casting icy glow over your body.

It was too late.

I can't blame you, because I've been there too, and I know. When you took in the bullet, I rushed up all the way to the roof, pushing people aside like an escaped psychopath. Your body laid there, still, cold. I broke. The roof was all empty; people have gathered beneath, panic. I didn't bother forcing the tears back; they streamed down my face uncontrollably, dropping on the ground leaving dark marks. I carried your body home, but the next morning you were gone. I didn't dare looking for you in the city, fearing that it would cause more trouble that I couldn't handle alone.

You could have swallowed your damn pride too. He let out the arrow and left immediately; there were just you and me. But you didn't. You still tried to control, to hold back, even though you were aware as well that you would fail; you couldn't let your real side win.

Do you regret it?

You feel me following you, watching you, wherever you go. You know I'm still there, just in a different way.

You know I can hear you.

It's been 100 days. Before my body was finally burnt, you had been sitting beside my body, night and day; I felt the heat. In the void, I sensed a shadow always there. Then after so long, I seemed to wake, myself becoming lighter and lighter, floating, leaving an empty, lifeless corpse behind.

You felt the change too. Yet there was no word, no tear. You stayed there like dead; I know you were inside.

Say it, even though we both already know.

Say something.

**Author's Note:**

> Right so that's it! The title is a song by Adam Lambert, and the lyrics quoted is from the German - French version by Vox Angeli of the Tokio Hotel song Durch Den Monsun.  
> So yeah technically Seb was killed and is a ghost in this story. Sorry I killed him!  
> When I wrote that it suddenly started raining it really suddenly just started raining around Qinghe where I live...and it's pretty terrifying because it's been sunny and damn hot the whole day. And I'm alone in this house me parents still on their way. Bless everyone outside. It's already dark as hell at 6:40pm and it's not really normal at this time of the year in Beijing.  
> And right now I'm standing at the end of the queue outside the Olympic Stadium if BJUT waiting to get examined. Bored to hell and I haven't eaten breakfast yet because it's not allowed.  
> Anyway thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [花落無情](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130114) by [RosVailintin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosVailintin/pseuds/RosVailintin)
  * [Humanoid](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165385) by [RosVailintin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosVailintin/pseuds/RosVailintin)
  * [We Are Born And We Die, We Are Dead And Reborn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212837) by [RosVailintin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosVailintin/pseuds/RosVailintin)




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